Journey Into My Thoughts (part 1)
I am a strong believer of everything happening for a reason. From the success of becoming an Eagle Scout to the near death experience whitewater rafting It is all meant to give us signs and vision about our life.
I have recently took on meditation and it has really cleared up my busy mind of thought. I always have so much going on in my head and meditation has really helped with organizing those thoughts and turning them in to visions of what is to happen in my life. I might be border lining crazy talk to some of you now but everything big that happens in my life I can see it in a vision. We know life can be very challenging but when I can see what I am reaching for, getting up after I fall makes for a lighter recovery to push forward.
I have another cruise ship story to share with you:
I have realized working for the 2nd time on a cruise ship that ship life for me is a filter for the negative thoughts that are stuck in my head. I stand out on the bow of the boat at night and it is as if the salty sea air can pull the watery tears of sad thoughts right out of me. I love it because I can do it as much as I need to! You can live an incredibly positive life but you will still collect negativity in your head and I am grateful that I have found so many avenues to release all of it.
I was all positives early on for my Alaska trip and then I woke up to a numb body where I could barely move. There is no fear setting in just yet. I waited maybe 10 minutes and nothing changed, my head was pounding and I was shivering uncontrollably. I made my way to the phone to call the ship doctor. They had to come get me. Getting up for the first time, I could feel the shards of pain race down my leg as I almost fall over. I looked down at my leg and realized, right away, that it was cellulitis for sure.
The next day something more serious happened. A new disease started to feast on my left calf. I suffered thru a 104 degree temperature for 3 days as they tried to stop this bacterial infection and bring my temperature down as well. In these moments, I keep telling myself, “This is not it for me”, repeatedly. I began to think about why this is happening to me, and I discovered it was meant to slow me down. Life was moving too fast and I am standing at the front lines of the next big thing in my life and it was time to slow down and take it all in with a bit more time and care.
Yes most of this story has already been told in previous posts, but the part that has not been told is what else happened in the days right after my temperature was going down. I could think again! My body was in and out of numbness, my head started to feel better, and with slow movements, I could at least make my own way to the bathroom. I used this time alone in my room to practice meditations.
With meditation, I was able to funnel out all the negative thoughts. I was able to empty my mind. I was able to throw more hope and gratitude on staying alive. A day before I was to be sent home I had laid back down with some music and closed my eyes. In this very moment, I began to see a clear vision that I have seen a few times already, followed by one I had never seen before. Along with everything I want in life this new vision is something I hope to see again and learn more.
Please check back tomorrow for my next post