Monthly Archives: December 2019
First Time Missing
On the anniversary of my move from Florida back to Illinois, packed with a realistic budget and 7 goals. I want to reflect on an emotion that is quite new to me. Never before have I had any strong emotions about missing someone or something but in the last half decade that has all changed.
Maybe some of this, well all of this is probably repeated but I think for the small handful that follow and read all my lengthy posts it kind of comes together right here. The first thing I have truly and fully ever missed was working on those cruise ships. I am so grateful for the opportunity to not be on one but 2 ships with 2 different experiences. I miss it all but I miss being out on the ocean the most. My first weeks on the cruise ship at the end of my shift at night I would go out on the bow of the ship, hang over the side and let my tears fall into the ocean as the waves crashed up on the sides. I was not sad to be there I was letting go of years and years of sadness. I was letting go of the negative Marc my family and friends knew all to well. Sure I had this blog running before that, so positive change was in the air already but there is nothing else like this. A moment to myself, a moment to change myself. When I am hit with some hard negative thoughts I can only now imagine my place of solitude upon this floating vessel. No endless ocean or salty air to capture my tears any more and I miss it…..I miss it so much.
I had to be closer to the Ocean after my cruise job….I thought “hey I made this cruise job happen I can make this move to Florida happen too” Not without the help of My best friend Chris and his wife who gave me a roof and a job! Wow, how’s that for friendship? Unaware at the time I was being introduced to the next thing I will later miss so much, finding my connection with our younger world of children….all of them from working Elementary school to summer camp and City of St. Cloud events. I miss those kids. Wish I could tell all of them. I am sure they have moved on to the next role model in their lives by now but I miss them. There is one I do miss the most. I can’t explain it and I shouldn’t be picking favorites but when I listen to my heart she’s the one that I connected with stronger then anyone. I miss you Lilly. Yes yes I miss her whole family too but that’s different!
Working in the Elementary School I was then introduced to the next thing I missed the most. Volunteering! My time volunteering in Florida was abundant but the one that stands out the most was my regular Sunday’s at Give Kids The World. It’s a resort-style vacation for terminally ill children and there families. It’s were they stay when their “Make-A-Wish” is to go to Disney World. Even without Disney this place was amazing. I won’t go to much in depth to describe this place but if you are curious I encourage you tolook it up or better yet search for my blog titled “She’s Only 4” and “Super Dad”. If you can’t find them let me know I can link you. The level of magic and joy in this place is unmatched, anywhere!
Stepping away from the cruise ships, the ocean, the kids and the volunteering was so hard. As tough as it was, I made the right move. I am by all my family again….creating stronger bonds than ever before. I have reacquainted with many friends. Those 7 goals……I smashed those this year and owe alot of gratitude to Cindy for introducing me to my new career and Darrin and Melissa for a place to stay while all my goals come to life.
I miss those things so much but I have so much good in front of me right now. You Florida peeps don’t be upset I miss a lot more of you than you think and hear from this!
I love my family, I love my friends, I love my Florida peeps and I love all the kids I have been blessed to meet through all of this.
Everything happens for a reason and I wonder what life is going to bring me next?
Weird Little Way
We are meant to meet those we cross paths with in this world. That being said, a good friend of mine from Florida shared this meme with me today. The worst of people in the world could take me down and I still can brush it off. Judging myself so much more harshly than the rest of the world is my biggest fault of all. I don’t want to go around over praising myself either. Life is so awesome right now and I need to focus on that instead of what has not happened. I am grateful for what I have done in life and I am proud of who I am. I love helping others, I love accepting other peoples differences, I love children and I love learning new things. Outside of that, well I am an original. No matter what I succeed or fail at in life the one thing I will never be disappointed with is known that it is always just my mind and my heart going thru this world. The best part is gathering those along my weird little way that encourage and support my words and actions. Life truly is short, there is only enough time to live it as YOU.