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Bullying, To Be Or Not To Be

When I was in 5th grade I can remember being out at recess and fighting with my friend to not have to stand behind this girl in the line to go back inside. We did not want to stand by her just because we thought she was ugly. What senselessness we thought it was now that we are grown up, but at that age I did not know what empathy was. We could have very well destroyed that girl’s life. She still comes up in conversation in the recent years and we always say that she is probably a super model and we were just naive kids afraid of cooties.

That’s not when I learned my lesson though. In Junior High I was hit hard with what some call Karma. I was hanging out at recess once again but this time it was with the group of bullies that picked on the same kids every day. One day it got physical, I pushed a boy to the ground and actually hurt him. It was that moment that I immediately hated myself and helped him right back up. I did not courage up an apology right away but I sorrowed tons of regret before I turned things around and became friends with this same person. After this terrible act of bullying the stars were not aligned for me. It was like being lost on a cloudy moonless night with no way to guide me home. This was the year of my first heavy crush and also the year of my fall into a bad depression. I lost every friend I had, except for one, including my crush. High School was terrible. Most people want to go back….not me. I learned of a learning disability I had with very low reading levels. I used up most of my lunch hours in a reading class, and the lunches I did attend I was forced to sit with kids of a lower grade because I was now the dork.

You are probably wondering where the karma comes in? In High School I was the one being bullied. I was made fun of all the time, I was pushed around, I was excluded from things and picked last for activities. Oh Marc you need braces, as if it could get any worse. This did however start to turn around for me. I grow up with a strong family and a small hand full of great friends that I had at this point. I started to stand up for myself against bullies and I was winning. I started to show respect for those that are typically excluded and ignored.

In college I began to come alive! I learned how to manage my depression without medication and my shyness lifted. I started dating and gaining friends galore. I became friends with anyone and everyone. I was proud that all my friends were friends with each other too. Everyone I brought into my circle they became friends with everyone else. The cool thing that holds true still today is my friends are friends with my siblings and we are all friends with their friends as well. There were no exclusions, we hung out and we partied with whoever wanted to join.

You see I have turned myself around quite a bit, but I am not done. Bullying has gotten worse as the years go by and the internet has gotten more and more accessible to our younger generation to give ease to those with bad intentions. I have a soft spot for those that are picked on for any reason. Working in an elementary school has really shined light on my purpose of inspiring children to be more positive with their lives. I work with special needs children and I have the opportunity to talk to the other students telling them that we are all different and that’s okay but so much of us is exactly the same. I have had the opportunity to make some of these students realize what they are doing or saying to others is wrong. The great part is…it’s working! I can see it working. Has life shown me both sides of bullying to better help and empathize for those involved? Is my life culminating to a point where I can educate students to a more positive life for themselves and their peers? This same positive lifestyle education holds true to all those who will listen of any age. I want to stand up between the two side where bullying starts and tell our younger generation that there are grand reasons to stop bullying and there is a personality inside all of us with the strength to stand up, ignore, change and fight bullying.

Many people have asked what my purpose is. Well if you have read this far now you know. When you see me with a positive attitude that’s real emotions. When you see me not smiling I am stepping through the next struggle in my life and climbing closer to my goals and purpose for smiling again. I will never bully again and I will always help others at all times. You can change your own life with a simple smile you can change everyone else with a simple smiling hello as you pass through each others lives for any length of time.

Bullying has to stop and a more positive mind set has to begin.

(Here is a new video clip that inspired this post, right from my home town of St. Charles)

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TED Talks Live, New York (The Education Revolution)

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I came home from New York City (NYC) and people were amazed what I fit in just 3 days. They thought I was there a week or more. I did it all while I was in NYC. The Tower observation decks, museums, boat tours and much more. The main reason I was there was to experience my first Live TED Talk event.

This was a double bucket list trip. First time seeing TED Talks and NYC. The whole trip was amazing but I would like to tell you my thoughts on some of the best motivational speakers of the evening. In the heart of NYC, Broadway and Time Square, I went to the historic Town Hall Theater. This event was going on all week with a different main topic each day. The main topic for the day I went was “The Education Revolution”. Other topics were things like science, history, war and peace.

I would like to say that this is a very informal post, more like expanded notes.

Andrew Mangino, CEO and Co-Founder of The Future Project:

He told us about how we need not just teachers in our world but Dream Directors. Yes every teacher can be a Dream Director, every one of us can inspire the future of our children. With the increasing amount of rules and regulations in the education industry we are leaving children’s creativity by the way sides, and we are ignoring their abilities to dream big in their life. Life is not all about just pushing kids to go to college it is about living their own lives. Listen to their ideas and let them follow their dreams. Not all will succeed right away but if we teach them how success and failure work together, all of their dreams have the ability to grow. We need to update the Education System and teach kids the jobs of today. Things have become useless were other things are not even brought up.

 

Julie Lythcott-Haims, Academic & Bestselling Author of “How to Raise an Adult”

Julie said at the end of her speech, “My kids are not bonsai trees they are wild flowers of an unknown species.” We are giving our children a checklist childhood we are expecting our kids to perform at a perfect level that we never even held ourselves too. These kids need to learn right and wrong by experience. Our kids need to experience failure and how to rise above it. Julie says, “By the end of high school these kids are questioning the worth of their life and their future.” We need to stop babying our kids. They need to be able to grow their own self-efficiency. Kids have too much entitlement; they need to earn more of what is just given to them. Kids need to experience life for themselves!

Julie told us, “A study was conducted and all the top professionals did chores as a kid.” I did chores and I made it to Design Director and now I am headed toward Dream Director as a motivational speaker. Academically kids need to know they matter to us, that they are not just another test grade statistic. All success did not come from going to big name schools, and world renowned colleges. Some success did not come from college at all. I choose to only get my 2 associates degrees. With that and a well brought up life of challenges and discovering who I am, I am succeeding everywhere in my life. I don’t owe everything I have accomplished in my life to some big name school. I owe it to my parents, Scouts, Failure, and outright earning everything I have in life from hard work.

 

Daniella Carter, Founder of Gender Global

As a youth Daniella was homeless, she was homeless because she was rejected by her own parents for being transgender. The LGBTQIA individuals have enough problems in the school and social setting as it is. For Daniella to rise about her homelessness and the critiques of the world around her is a huge challenge. Today she teaches children to overcome their adversities and embrace who they are with confidence. She was emotional giving her life story speech but I think she left no eye dry in the theater either. Bullying is such a problem in our world today. Where are kids learning that it is alright to tease and make fun of people who are different? The crazy thing is every single one of us is different! Even as an adult we make fun of and talk down things and people just because we don’t understand them. At the end she says “Join the revolution of loving someone different.” That is vague and precise all in one statement.

 

Sean McComb, National Teacher of the Year in 2014.

He started a program called AVID to help the students stretch themselves to succeed. He is also the youngest teacher to ever receive this award. He tells us that even thru all the change in regulations and paperwork and poor treatment of our future it still stands that teachers are the heart of hope for the future of our students. Our biggest enemy is the unknown future ahead, will it get worse or will it get better? “We need to make school the best 7 hours of our students day,” says Sean. We, above all else, cannot let these doors of opportunity close on any child.

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There is a future for me here. The world of motivators is calling out to me and I get closer and closer to hear exactly what they are saying every day. I have been around the block many times. I have been hurt and I have been happy. My life has always been an adventure. This blog is certainly where I started but It will never end till I stop breathing. I am going to make a difference in this world, you can wait and see or you can join me along the way. I am too strong for anyone to break down my cause and truthfully only care for those that support, encourage or just plain accept what I am doing here. Those that follow me are very helpful, those that share their positive opinions I am thankful for, and those that want to help me I am extremely grateful for. You are all amazing and I am grateful for any part you take in this journey. I know I cannot make this world a more positive place on my own but I guarantee WE can do it together.

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Mr. Hashbrowns Goes To Alaska!

The last time I did this, I mean the last time I worked on a cruise ship my life was in a different place. I had quit my job as a design director, quit my next job as a marketing and events planner and I took my first cruise ship job as a huge risk with great adventure. I say huge risk because I packed up my whole life into a storage unit. When I returned from this job I had no place lined up to live and no job lined up. This time around as I set sail from Vancouver thru Alaska and back many times I feel way more comfortable. Sure last time I survived but this time I did not pack up anything, it will all be waiting for me when I return. This time I will have a job that looks forward to my return.

As if going on this work travel journey is not exciting enough. I already have goals lined up for when I return. I have mentioned this in just about every post recently and I am sure it will be said more; I am excited for my next big goal to be a motivational speaker for children.

Getting what you want out of life is really easy……..REALLY EASY! You have to live and breathe your goals…you have to have goals period. I could start a whole blog just on my goals. I have goals for my goals and I have more goals when I meet other goals…..upon my return to my job in Florida I will emerge myself into reading, watching, learning, listening and thinking about motivational speaking. I will have little motivations running around (the students) to remind me every day that I want to motivate and speak to children. I will be writing speeches and at the same time reading and watching other people speak.

This venture will not be void of challenges and failures, but how else am I to properly learn? Many MANY years ago I was thinking about the best ways to end my life. Today I cannot even start one new adventure before getting excited to live up to my new high standards of effort toward my next adventure! Positive thinking, that is it!

In my last post I said 70 years to make a difference in other people’s lives. I thought about that ever sense and that is so much time when I look at everything I have done in just 3 years time. I might just be at that time to give myself a name! I know it’s cheesy to some but what the kids simply call me at school should be good enough: Mr. Marc. Or I could use other names they call me: Mr. Marc-e, Mr. Marcs-a-clause, Mr. Marc-e-mon, Mr. Hashbrowns, Mr. Hippo, Mr. Crazy, Mr. Halla, Mr. Smile. I could keep going but they just get more random. If they say something inappropriate I correct them but whatever makes a good connection to address me I answer to everything! After all they are kids and they know my real name first and then call me whatever.

Wow I did a tangent in my own blog, but I am leaving it because I think it’s cute! Anyways ahhhhhhhhhhh here I come Alaska/Canada it’s time to make my MARC in a new place.

I love all of you and I am grateful for your support in any or many ways. You will start seeing changes in September but until then I will post when I can. Receptions not to good when you’re out on the ocean on a glamorous ship for 2 months! 😛

I have a love affair with the Ocean and she is so excited I get to see another side of her, and she is exicted I will be by the mountains and the ocean! Bye for now I love all of you.

What Everyone Else Wants!

I am a few days away from my life’s next big adventure! I am going back to work on a cruise ship again (for 2 months) but this time I will be in Alaska. A place where I have always wanted to go and I get to from an opportunity that was basically put on my lap! As I said in a previous blog I will be limited with time to write and internet to post but I assure you I will be back and I am most likely going to be shifting some of the main focuses of this blog.

It is funny how our thought process works. I am learning through the challenges of life that everything happens for a reason. The most exciting discovery is when those reasons come to light in our minds. At the time my fiancé broke it off with me 3-4 years ago I was ready to settle down and start a family but my life has changed completely, for the better I would like to add! In grained in me is a subtle shy loneliness that I successfully chip away at everyday and my new life, new adventures and new goals unfold. I could time line my whole life, the feelings are so strong but perhaps I will save that for my first book. Yes my first book…one of many goals. My biggest goal of all is to become a motivational speaker.

Fast forward to now I work at a wonderful elementary school as a teacher assistant to students with autism. What an eye opening job. I have had hard jobs before but this one moves its way toward the top of that list, however the rewards from this job sky rocket. Here I am; single, secretly fighting little loneliness spell now and again, I work around a bunch of beautiful married women (inside and out) and I work around wonderful children that just make me want my own ever day. Even though this job has been and will continue to be an amazing opportunity I ask myself through the personal torture why am I setting myself up like this: Working all around others that have everything I want.

Now wait a second, here is the crazy part. As I talk to my new friends, staff and teachers, about my adventures of travel and my life goals, they are envious of me. I realize I want what they have and they want what I have. It is crazy how life works like that. But then I take a step back and realize why life had brought me here. To meet great people of course, and try new things in my life, but the main reason I am here is to finally realize my motivational speaking career starts with these children. I want to inspire children to be all they can be and live a more positively directed life. I want to teach them that there is no benefit to bullying their fellow classmates. Make friends in school not enemies. If you know me at all you know that when I set sight on something, no matter how long it takes, I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. Maybe this school year maybe next but I was meant for this. It took me 34 years to figure this out but I have 70 more to make a difference in the lives of all our futures.

I realize that if I was married and had kids 3-4 years ago, there was no chance I would be working on a cruise ship, there was no chance I would have moved down to Florida, very little chance that I would have stepped out of my career as a Design Director to find my passion as a motivational speaker. All I had to do was drop the negative thoughts and listen to what life was telling me. There is great things out there and wonderful people to meet. I will meet the right one for me when I least expect it. I will be successful with my goals and like any roller coaster success story I expect to fall, I expect it to be hard, and I expect to learn a lot.

I walk through the halls of my school and every smile or hi I get, every high five or hug I receive lets me know how many young lives I am impacting already. I know my main focus is with the special need students in my class but I make it a point to connect with new students’ every day. I certainly connect with the teachers as well. The students allow me to be more connected with my goals all the time and the teachers are the ones that are opening doors for me to explore. So yes I was meant to be here at this elementary school. Some teachers are excited for their well deserved summer break and here I am off to Alaska for almost two months and I miss these kids already! I know I am where I am meant to be and I know there is still more exploring to do on my way to where I want to be. The purpose for my Alaska trip is simple, I deserve a break too! It just so happens to be a working break but you can’t beat the location or opportunity.

I am so grateful for all of my family, friends, teachers, and students that have helped me get where I am now. You may not know you have helped but know now! I am grateful for all of my blog followers and new friends from the internet that are alongside supporting my journey through life. There are big things coming in my life and I am going after all of it!

Dr. Eric Perry’s Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

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